onwarsd

The problem comes when even mild dissatisfaction on the wife's part is met by a barrage from her husband that, instead of toning down or at the most matching her degree of negativity (yelling back, complaining, etc.), goes beyond it. The wives of men who accept their influence are far less likely to be harsh with their husbands when less likely to be harsh with their husbands when broaching a difficult marital topic. broaching a difficult marital topic.This incre This incre This increases the odds their marriage will thrive. the odds their marriage will thrive. Any man who isn't sold on the need to accept his wife's influence more should consider the many pluses. Studies have shown that marriages where the husband resists sharing power are four times more likely to end or drone on unhappily than marriages where the husband does not resist. We see again and again that when the man shares power, the four horsemen aren't so prevalent. In large part this is because his wife is far less likely to use a harsh startup when she's upset. Because she's not angered, frustrated, or humiliated by her husband, she is apt to begin difficult discussions without being critical or contemptuous. Another reason these marriages fare so well is that they have a firm foundation for compromising. After all, the better able you are 106 to listen to what your spouse has to say and to consider her perspective respectfully, the more likely it is that you'll be able to come up with a solution or approach to a problem that satisfies you both. If your ears are closed to your spouse's needs, opinions, and values, compromise just doesn't have a chance. What husbands can learn from wives Perhaps most importantly, when a husband accepts his wife's influence, his open attitude also heightens the positive in his relationship by strengthening his friendship with his wife. This will make it far easier for him to follow the first three principles: deepening his love map, bolstering fondness and admiration, and turning toward his wife as a matter of course. This occurs not just because the absence of frequent power struggles makes the marriage more pleasurable, but because such a husband is open to learning from his wife. And there's no doubt that women have plenty to teach men about friendship. In his book The Complete Book of Guys, Dave Barry writes about the huge gap between men and women in this regard. He recounts that every year he and his wife get together with some old friends. The wives immediately begin an intense catching-up conversation about their inner feelings. He and the other husband watch the playoffs. The men do get emotional at times--usually when deciding which kind of pizza to order. Later, when the couples have parted company, Barry's wife will say something like "Isn't it amazing how well George has adjusted to having his leg amputated?" And Barry will pretend that of course he had noticed George was missing a leg. Barry is exaggerating, but the story is funny because it reveals a basic truth: Women are more oriented toward discussing and understanding feelings than are men. I'm not suggesting that all women are sawier about emotions and have better "people skills" than all men.